Pilgrims: April 2011

First of all, thank you all for your kind comments and well wishes for Connor and our family. So sorry, I had so many typos but most of that was typed one handed and in between kids and everything!

This post is to show you what trauma our little guy had endured to come here. When Connor was born he had a bruise that covered the top of his head and his cheeks were swollen and puffy. At first we just thought he was well fed and had his own little look compared to Carson and Jayson. When asked who he looked like when he was first born we said it he had his own look because he really didn't look like either older brother when he first came. We were then told that Connor had endured a lot while being stuck and trying to make it through those contractions. As a result the large bruise and swollen puffy head. We had no clue until today really how much swelling had taken place. I am posting a picture of his little face right after he was born and one that I took today prior to his doctors appointment.

At the doctors appointment today he measured 20.5 inches and at birth he measured 21 inches. Today he weighed 8lbs and at birth he weighed 8 lbs 9 oz and when he left the hospital he weighed 8lbs 9.3oz. It is normal for a baby to lose some weight after birth. However the doctor attributed some of the weight lose due to the lose in fluid.

Who knows what the poor little guy went through while he was stuck. These discoveries really makes me think what a tough little guy he is! Thank heavens for priesthood blessings!

Just fresh, so cute with his little cheekers!
We couldn't stop kissing those little cheeks!

Today, the swelling gone and I think he looks a lot like both his brothers now.

Warning this is Connor's story this is mostly for journaling purposes and may give too many details, so if my brother Jake reads this and thinks this is too much info he can close out! ;) Last Friday, April 8th, the boys and I had a movie night without Jay since he had to be at church meetings. Since the end of the pregnancy we have been doing these fun nights once a weekend with the boys since it was easy and I didn't have to do too much and the boys thought it was fun to do a movie night with mom and dad. Our chose of movies was Gone with the Wind. I know, a little old for the boys, I did a lot of fast forwarding but Jayson wanted to watch an old time war movie and there are not too many shows I can think of that I want him to see right now that are age appropriate war shows and that happen to be on Netflix Instant Play movie list. After the show was over Jay was home from meetings and we put the boys to bed. We both were so tired so we all went to bed early. All through the night I had this dry cough and I remember not sleeping very well because the contractions I had had most of the night were not going away but they weren't that strong and too close together and personally I was sick of contractions, I had been having them so much I was numb to these. Then in the middle of the night I coughed and coughed and my water broke. I had never had this experience, my water breaking naturally so it scared me! I didn't know what to do except for wake up Jay and start crying because I was scared. Why I was scared, I still don't know, maybe because I wasn't prepared? I didn't have my bag packed, I started on the babies bag, but I didn't have a thing prepared. My house was A MESS and for any of you who really know me and have been to my house know that I pride myself on my clean house I work hard and strive to always have a clean house. It may have toys or clutter here and there but underneath everything it is scrubbed and germ free clean. However at that very moment it was disgustingly embarrassing! I couldn't leave my house like this and have my friends and family come in. I had so much laundry and now my bed was a mess. Next came the drive, the hour and a half drive to our selected hospital. Yes, we live in a very rural place and nearest town is an hour and a half away. Our OB of choice practices there and so we made the drive in rain at 4:30 a.m. in the morning. We were lucky to leave the boys with a good friend and then my sister-in-law, Nancy made the 7 hour drive up to watch the kids until my parents got there. With everything left undone, with the long drive, leaving my boys, bugging family and friends in the middle of the night and not having experienced my water breaking like that before I was a little shaken. My life has always been planned, everything I try to plan and control. I always try have everything go my way. Well this pregnancy has taught me it isn't my way. It has taken any sense of control I thought I had on my life and showed me who really has control. It is a lesson I had to learn. Finally we made the white knuckle trip to the hospital-Jay actually hit 90 at one point. I was wheeled up and checked in. Before I knew it I was hooked up to monitors and we were wondering how soon our little boy would be here. I thought around noon and I think Jay thought sooner. Well it went all day...this little guy climbed high. He climbed high to my right side and stopped all progression of labor. I came in dialated to a 5 and stayed that way for the majority of Saturday. With family and friends anxiously awaiting the announcement of his birth, each all was answered or sent with sad no progression news. It was very nerve-wracking for me because as time wore on the doctor came in to check the more C-Section was discussed. Many of you know I fear C-Sections, and I can't have one with my busy life and because of where I live far from family I just can't have one. (We found out later that he had climbed high because he had two knots in his cord and it was wrapped around his neck once-just like Jayson)! So I prayed, I prayed and prayed! I asked Jay to pray and he said he had already been praying. We both knew, he is very busy and there is just no help, everyone is busy. Finally it came to my mind to sit my bed upright and let gravity do its work. So I sat the bed strait up and I asked the nurse if that position was ok, she said that was fine but that I would lose my epidural because it would drain to my legs. Sure enough, I lost my epidural and all those hard PIT contractions were soon felt. I kept my position upright for an hour and the doctor came in and I had moved from a 5 to a 7. He was optimistic. Since we had progressed and he was optimistic I decided to let the bed back done and see if we could get the epidural working again. So I laid back down and the baby went into distress. So I had to lay on my left side. The doctor came back in to check later on and I was still at a 7. So he again said he would be back one more time and if I hadn't progressed with thin that time I would need to have a C-Section. So I sat the bed back up knowing any and all epidural would be gone but I need the gravity to work for me and push that baby back down so I could progress. The contractions were becoming more intense and closer. I could feel everything working properly and the nurse could tell the baby was down by the heart monitor readings when I had a contraction. Finally the doctor came in that last time and checked me he was happy, he said I was very loose and at an 8. He said he was going to go check on some other people and stick around for a little while to see if I would do this. Not even 5 minutes later I was in excruciating pain, the pain was so bad I was shaking. I told the nurse I need to push and she called the doctor and a she flew into action getting the bed prepped for delivery. The doctor flew in and I began pushing. Usually I have not had too hard of a time with my littler 6 pound babies, Jayson and Carson were both littler. However Connor was well over 8 pounds and my body was not prepared for such a kid. I pushed and pushed, he was stuck. I could feel he was stuck. Once last prayer in between contractions and on the last push it came to my mind to adjust my torso and at last he was out. He became up stuck and as Jay said he just flew out of there. Connor was born at 12:01 a.m. on Sunday April 10th. It was an amazing feeling to have felt everything. I will never do that again, I hope but when they put him on me, it was a feeling of shear joy and self accomplishment I had never felt. I endured such incredible pain and my reward, well my reward was sweet, a sweet little baby boy. He is beautiful and precious, no greater reward!! I am so thankful the power of prayer and for His watchful eye. Connor showed all the signs of being stuck. His little precious top of his head had a very large bruise and his face was very swollen for about 4 days from being stuck and my hard pushing. Shortly after he was cleaned up they gave Jay a bottle of sugar water for him and he stopped breathing, so yet again we had another moment of prayer while the worked on him but he pulled through and we had a wonderful staff that flew in and finally he pinked up! Connor is our 3rd precious miracle and we are just enjoying him and his brothers. It was been such a wonderful time for our little family! We just love our boys! My dear friend Amy, my sister-in-law and my mom are such angels! They cleaned and cleaned and did all my laundry! I am so blessed and thankful and embarrassed but thankful. It is hard for this girl to let people do anything for her but I am thankful those that jumped in and helped when I literally couldn't. My mom has been here a week and went home today. She has been such a joy to have around. She has made sure I have had the best nutrition and rest. She helped us with a flooded basement and helped with Jayson and Carson. I couldn't do anything, I was so beat up too, that I just had to swallow my pride once again and let others help were I couldn't. Yet another lesson I had to be taught!

Getting cleaned up!